Sunday was spent carefully driving to Church - because oh my gosh we don't see ice except maybe once a year, and people have no clue what they are doing. And later a quick Target run (as if that is a surprise, plus the ice was basically gone) and it also create a new year um goal? resolution? I don't know, either way I absolutely need a Target buddy for 2018. They have stepped up their game, and it's killing me slowly. I think in the last week of December and the first week of January I've been to target.... 12 times... ha! Maybe more, lol.
I came to the realization, that I will most likely stay at home for the next year or so, and because of tons of internal conflict in the past year and a half, I pretty much stripped my room bare of all decor. So I figured, that if I completely redo my room, I'll have a happy safe space to work and relax. Only problem I am running into is how to get the maximum out of half a room - because I need it to be a bedroom and an office. If anyone has suggestions on how to do that I would appreciate it, lol!
Right in the middle of changing out my desks, I had a moment where there was pure frustration, and anger. It was one of those moments, where I could feel the anger bubbling up inside and there was just a brief moment to decide - do I loose it and completely break down or how can I turn this into a "I WILL make it work" moments? I realized my almost twenty years of living in that room - I have never actually gotten to do a room makeover - my parents settled for new paint, comforters, and lamps, every so often, but that was about the limit. There was never a point where they surprised us (yes, us. I share the room with my only sister) with the option of choosing our own furniture and decor - it was just given to us. Even the first moment of freedom, we "got to choose the paint" between them and the painters, it got mixed up.But think about the crucial transitional periods in anyone's life and it is no wonder, I was so naïve and babyish for so long. My dad would often tell me to "grow up" & "quit acting like a child", and yet how is one suppose to do that when they are stifled in their own room? It is easy to say it, but another to actually follow through and do it. Trying to make a sacred bedroom AND an office in only half a room with a closet smaller than I am is a tall order. And no matter the book or article about simplifying or organizing a small space, nothing seems to work.
There was something I heard this past week. It was along the lines of: what if your child's most annoying feature is actually their biggest character trait? Basically it boils down to , figuring out a way to harness the annoying and turn it into what it was meant to be.
I use to be super annoying at organizing. I would take all of the books off of my shelf and sort them by series and then by order. And even now my closet is organized by shirts, dresses, coats, etc. although in middles school it was even color coded.
I realize in order to achieve stuff there must be sacrifice. For me it is usually financial. Funny because up until college, I was such a budgeter. I would save most of my money, and use the rest for something I really really wanted. Now? I am sinking. Trying to figure out how to repay loans, redo my room, save up for conferences, trips, & just life.
Hahaha, wow, I got so off track y'all. But long story short, I wanted to completely redo my room, in a way I would love for the next couple of years and actually enjoy every aspect of it. Especially, because I have a home based business and spend a lot of time in there!
XOXO,
Suzanne Marie
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