Life Unfolding

Never thought I'd be here. Rushing to talk to an other unhelpful advisor. Sitting in my car with tears streaming down my face or sitting at Craftwork, trying to not to cry anymore, while figuring out what to email the dean of the college of business (who's email I got from the secretary, not the advisor). Pieces of my life's puzzle that were not suppose to be there, now are getting smashed together, trying to make the picture a whole. It's these moments that one would ask “How did I get here?” and “What just happened?” I was planning for graduation and my next steps, now I’m still stuck in college loop again.  The year round class loop that was suppose to end forever, now seems like a broken record.

I cannot begin to stress how frustrated, and angry I am at Tarleton, when they say I would be able to fulfill all of my degree needs at the Ft. Worth campus and they end up only having one option for required class. And on top of that scheduling multiple classes at the exact same time and only offering that one option for both. 
This past semester I needed five classes, I could only enroll in ONE in person at the FTW campus, because they were either just not offered here or they were all scheduled for the exact same date and time. Because of this horrible scheduling, I ended up having to take 4/5 online, instead of my preferred 4/5 in person. Oh and let’s not even get into the (insert any kind of language here) online fees.
I had to choose between two classes for my in-person and ended up choosing wrong, because there was no way to know that my required finance class was the worst class ever to take online. I have talked to so many other classmates this semester that have ended up having to take that class 2-3 online to pass or passed in person by the skin of their teeth. 
So why am I telling you all of this? I have never failed a class in my four years of college and only dropped one, because it was part of a weird capstone program at TCC. Yet, I apparently decided to try something new and failed the finance class. I have taken classes that make me sick trying to figuring them out, but this one has made me want to drop out. I am so frustrated, because my preference was to take my classes in-person, because I learn so much more that way.
I was expecting to graduate, but now I’m having to rethink all my future plans. And the truth? It's scary. Scary, because I thought I had a simple and easy plan, that would work. That's not expecting too much right? But life is funny. Right when you think you have already gone to hell and back and are in the clear, it throws another curve ball.
Now by no means am I telling you any of this to be bragging about never failing (because I have struggled in many classes and skipped social events to study to keep from doing so in other classes), instead it is to keep this blog an authentic place for me to share what is on my mind and what is happening in my life.

Photos c/o Michelle Perez Photography

XOXO,
Suzanne Marie